I read a study yesterday that was just released through Match.com (2021) that found that the #1 thing that people are looking for in a potential partner is
Emotional Maturity (83% of respondents said this was the most important.
Last year, in 2020, 90% of people said physical attractiveness was the most important consideration when choosing a partner.
That is down to 78% this year.
As a researcher and dating expert, there is ONE thing that this teaches us:
People’s values have changed because of the pandemic, and for dating, that means they care MORE about emotional maturity, connection & intelligence
and
LESS about how people appear on the outside.
As we head into the holidays, it’s important to reflect on ways we can build emotional maturity & intelligence to help us thrive in our relationships, in our careers & in our health & wellbeing.
How do you develop emotional maturity? I’m glad you asked:
- Take responsibility: it’s easy to blame people/circumstances for our mistakes, but when we own our part and take responsibility, it allows us to grow a sense of agency over our lives and truly help shift relational dynamics.
- Listen with empathy: stay curious and ask questions, always from a place of imagining what it must be like to be this person, going through this situation. Serving truly helps with this so look for a service opportunity through Thanksgiving, such as helping at a soup kitchen. This develops your capacity for empathy and opens your heart for the type of relationships you desire.
- Notice your communication patterns & shift: Is there something you need to communicate directly but you aren’t out of fear of conflict? Do you lean towards passive-aggressive communication patterns or “play games” with potential people while dating. It’s time to be self-aware of this and work towards being an authentic and direct communicator.
Emotional maturity & intelligence empowers you to rise above and rise up to the level of life that you desire. As you work on these areas, you can also be aware of these areas in your dating relationships and in the workplace.
Growing in self-awareness around your emotional maturity is SO important, and my team & I is here to help.
Send us an e-mail at drchristiekederian@gmail.com to develop this in yourself OR identifying this in others through the dating journey.
We’re with you!
